Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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