hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize