I love black thongs
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
