absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize