Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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