Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
