I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's shark week go big or go home
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
