I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Randomize
