I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
