I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
