My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
