Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
