that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
