No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
