At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
