nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
