My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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