You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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