I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
