im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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