Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
