Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
