i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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