I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
