I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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