I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize