i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
