sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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