me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
