You're my little dorito
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
