My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
