Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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