Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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