Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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