matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize