So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
