So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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