Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
