Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
