His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
