are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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