names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
