Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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