she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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