even my farts smell like vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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