small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
