All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my phone needs a breathalizer
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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