So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
its liver damage thursday
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize