I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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