My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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