her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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