I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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