Is it because I queefed?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
