So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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