I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Alive.
So much puke
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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