so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
