he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
