U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
