Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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