okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
