I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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