WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
