PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize