Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
